I am getting pretty nervous about having Hailey and the baby. Lately, she has been saying "I am a little baby" and sucking her fingers again. She gets jealous when I hold my nephew and tells me to put the baby down. The baby isn't even here yet!!! Hailey can be pretty hard headed and possessive, so I am a little freaky about it all. Does anyone have advice for me?
4 comments:
You know, I really worried too. Kayla started acting really bad before I had Ian, like she knew there would be someone besides her in the house. Amazingly once he came she just loved him and had no problems. I think you will be fine. Hailey is a smart girl and will be a good helper. As far as having two...it's not as hard as you might think. You get used to it. Good luck! Can't wait to see him.
I really like what Lorna said. I think a key element to helping a older child cope with not being the center of attention is to make sure she helps out. Have her go get diapers for him. Have her help pick out outfits and things like that. Hailey will be fine. Kids are naturally nurturing. If she knows she is helping mommy and little brother she will feel important too.
I have read that explaining the fact that you are having a baby helps a lot. It sounds as if you have already done that. Dr. Spoke says: Talk to Hailey about her role as the older sibbling. Explain that you will still go to the park together (or whatever special thing you do) and she will still be loved just as much as she is now. Don't over do your enthusiasm about the new baby and don't expect her to be enthusiastic about it. Dr. Spoke's book even says to bring the baby home with the sibbling out of the house. This way the mother and baby can get settled. The sibbling can come back an hour later and the mother can focus on that child. I had a friend who had cupcakes at the hospital for when her older daughter came to see her and the baby. It was something special for that child. For Landon I think it helped to not push the issue. We didn't make him acknowledge BrookeLynn we let him warm up on his own. And I focused my attention on him when he came to the hospital and when I came home.
Good Luck. Avery didn't like having her new sister home. SHe took it out on me mostly but it was only about three weeks before she figured out the situation was permanent and she wasn't being replaced. I tried to have her help and I never said "I can't right now, I'm busy with the baby" but every personality is different and this is a big change. now everything is great, Avery loves to make Madelyn laugh and it is a lot of fun. I was very nervous too but you will all grow past it. The good thing is that for the first few months your newborn really requires very little of your undivided attention. You won't get the endless time you had with your first one and you will miss it but at least one of the kids won't need your undivided attention for a little while anyway.
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